Soap is not a condiment
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
