how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
