What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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