am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
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