You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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