so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
