I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
