She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
