Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
