im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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