a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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