Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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