I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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