If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
