I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
