this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I stole a fireplace last night.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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