Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
