with your own penis?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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