I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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