Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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