I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
