no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
