My hand turned me down
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Who put my cat in the fridge?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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