shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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