Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Don't make out with my wife yet
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
