Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
