It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
