Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
