Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
