if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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