She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize