Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
