Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........