Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize