I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
