Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
