He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize