She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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