he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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