I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
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I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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