So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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