this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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