My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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