"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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