You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
