If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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