i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
