My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
