I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
