she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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