Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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