i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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