3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
