You're a womanizer and a bitch.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
