i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
