Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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