aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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