in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I use my feet as sexual weapons
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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