if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
