I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize