Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
