road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
