he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
